It Just...It Just Gets Worse!

Eleven Weeks into the new school year and already the place has gone to shit. Honestly, the principal is a self absorbed dickwit who has no clue about the goings on in his own establishment. Its just sad and frustrating and by god it makes me want to stab people.

Mostly the head of religion because she's more preoccupied with how hot she looks and less with y'know religious issues.

But lets skip the usual diatribe and get into the fun stuff, the stuff that's seen me drop a few pounds through stress in the last few weeks.

The beloved assistant did leave and we got a replacement. Poor deluded thing, lasted 8 weeks before she stormed out never to return. This put me in a very awkward position. Do I be 100% honest and fess to those in charge about how newbie got the same treatment I have for the last 3 years or do I lie and maintain the very good relationship I have with my boss right now. (I know, who would have believed eh?) I decided I was Switzerland and talked my way out of it with general replies like, 'well y'know it really depends on how you take it...'

My boss said to me, 'do you think I was too harsh?' and I almost choked. Oh the things I could have said. Then we started on a campaign to depict the former employee as an evil, psycho bitch who we're glad is gone. Life is weird sometimes.

I didn't think things could get weirder but oh, they have...

We've known since last year that the library is to be redeveloped and this is a good thing. We weren't sure when it was all happening until I went to the morning meeting and discovered we had 2 weeks to pack up and ship out. Two weeks to move an entire fucking library. What the hell were those cunts in charge thinking? So here I am now, in my holidays...MY HOLIDAYS packing up the fucking library. Most of the stuff belongs to other departments but are those bastards here to help. No, no they're fucking not. What gets my goat the most though, what really fucks me off. Is teachers that wander in and say, 'I feel sorry for you'. If you felt sorry for me you selfish pricks you'd help box shit up. Gah if I hear someone say that again they get punched in the damn throat.

Oh and the remaining senior authority in the school jumped ship, just awesome...

How Times Have Changed

My has it been a long time since I posted about the joys of being a librarian. So much has happened and yet, alas, so much hasn't.

I'm pleased to announce my very posh, so far up its own arse it can clear its own throat, place of work is going rather quickly down the proverbial shitter. Since all people of importance have jumped or are in the process of jumping ship there is little left of the religious morals and history the school boasted. Instead its been replaced by a bunch of half wits who are more preoccupied with piss ups, cake and rosey pay packets than actually working to some sort of level.

Oh and just off on a tangent. All thos public school teachers who keep striking for money. Fuck you, fuck you all you undeserving cunts.

Anyway, the new Principal is a joke. Its like they've put an 8 year old in charge of the school and all he does is giggle at poo jokes. We've got a new supply ordering type lady who is useless. She never has anything we ask for, never gets off her arse and has no experience in working in a school. I think she may have won her job out of a cereal packet. Then we have the loss of one glorious english teacher overseas and my favourite is retiring. This loss of literature passion and experience is being replaced by some silly little blonde straight out of uni. Who, and this is on a side note, has a tiny waist and hugely fat legs. The head of the junior school is getting the boot, but we'll live with that. The head of middle school is leaving too.

WHERE'S THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW HOW TO RUN A SCHOOL?!

Worst of all the library assistant who has been there for ever is leaving. She decided to resign after a shitty week or fuckface year 12s. I can't blame her. I fear for my own sanity being left with my boss. I hope her replacement is competent and far more experienced than me otherwise there may be a mental breakdown followed by a bloody beating with a Bible.

Aside from the entire fuck up of the school hierachy, I've been trying to do that library course I signed up for. Jesus fuck its boring. I mean its truely, wrist slittingly tedious. I'm a little behind in my work because I have an absolute lack of care.

Finally, the boy who is obsessed with Hanna Montana/Miley Cirus and happily calls teachers paedophiles, you make my day, you do.

Oh How I Haven't Missed You

Oh holidays, how I miss your lucid, lazy days. Even if most of them were spent holding back panic attacks and sobbing quietly in a corner.

So today was the first day back. I was lucky to recieve comfortable conversation with The Boss all day. How the ease of holidays fills me with false hope that it might stay that way. I spent part of the day finishing some last minute book packing and finally getting stuck into the testing and tagging. I feel I may be doing it wrong. Don't care. If a CD player blows up and melts the face of some whiny new teacher who am I to complain.

The sweeping changes are going to take some getting used to. The new 'Head of Studies' made lots of noise from his shared office down the back of the library. His approach is typical of the rich-as-fuck-smug-cunty PE teacher that he is. He even went and had a cry to someone higher up about the unfairness of having to share an office. Fuck dude, we don't even know what you do!

The school chaplin has announced he is leaving which isn't a bad thing because he's so monotonous during masses that its like being stuck with a demntia ridden uncle who starts banging on about jesus and finishes talking about shoes. I hope his replacement is handsome because I could do with a pretty, non-threatening virgin to look at while I'm shackled to the desk.

And in a 'WhatthefuckwasIthinking' moment, I applied to an online school to study library and information services. While I really have little passion for the subject it might just be my ticket out of Catholic fuckwit hell.

Why Yes, You Are a Cunt

Its reached that busy time of year when the old books come back and need repaired, a lot of repairing and the new books get processed. Everything has to be ready so we can get the book packs ready for the precious little darlings next year.

This generally means I do nothing but handle books and tape for weeks on end, until I want to weep about the state of my life and what its become.

Today managed to bring this feeling to me a whole lot sooner...

I won't bore you with the details of me being late and spat upon by a small child on the bus ride in. Let's just stck to the library. I will say however I hate apologising for things that are out of my control. Fucking traffic.

I started today having to get the Year 10 book return slips into home groups. This involves having a slip for both their library books and text books. I started off by going through the text book ones and writing the home groups on them. You see everyone has text books but not everyone has library books, so we work from those. This in itself is already a sore point. Earlier this year I went through and corrected our library system because The Boss just doesn't have the time (apparently) she told me not to worry with the text books. Of course now she worries and despite the fact it hadn't been updated when I started working the job, its my fault.

Anyway, this took ages and I got berated for taking too long. I wasn't doing it the way she would do it and she let me know over and over and over. Bitch.

I might add that by this stage our little helper hadn't even done yesterday's shelving that I was told not to do. Bitch.

Next was the intstallation of a new DVD player. The guy that came was lovely and helpful even if he didn't know how some things worked but still, it was informative. During this time I had to help a teacher, because teacher's are retarded, to download things off his mobile phone. I said to The Boss he should read the instructions. She sneered that so should I since I didn't know about the high speed copying on the DVD player. Actually I did, but I didn't know how it worked exactly and the instructions were fucking useless. Besides, what good is being able to copy a movie in 15 minutes if you can't get in there to finish it anyway. Copying normally isn't a problem. Its still fucking copied right? I even heard her grumble something about how she doesn't have time to do that (the audio visual stuff) so don't do it then, for fucks sake.

A short while later lecture number 2341 came when we were discussing the books that were to be taken off the system and thrown out. I'd put them all on a trolley. I hadn't taken them off because I wasn't entirely sure what was going. No, bad library assistant. They were all supposed to be neatly sorted and taken off the system. At this point I should add that it was discovered 3 sets of the books actually were staying. Oops, silly librarian and you wondered why I had waited until we could go through them.

I also discovered that it is my job the weed out all the books to be removed. Despite the fact we all return books and its really not fucking brain surgery to put those ones aside. Ah but wait, The Boss had to ask ME which ones were going.

So let's recap my responsibilities shall we...
*Processing new books
*Putting new books on the system
*Putitng new books away
*Returning old books
*Sorting old books
*Reparing old books
*Removing old books
*Return slip printing and delivery
*Taping programmes
*Dubbing programmes
*Returns
*Shelving
*Newspaper delivery
*Video/DVD shelvin
*Maintaining and fixing overhead projectors, CD players, TVs and DVD players.
*Requesting new student ID cards
*Maintaining ID cards database/records
*General maintenance of the book loans area - shelving/signage/stock count/borrowing requests
*General maintenance of the computer room - cleaning/air conditioner/printer issues/power point projecter issues
*General maintenance of the library - cleaning/photocopier issues/printer issues
*Filling the photocopier with paper (this involves lugging a box of paper from the front office)
*Colour printing wench
*Bookings wench
*Dealing with every other shit request
*Knowing where everything is that's ever going to be requested in the history of man.
*Having my self esteem crushed daily

And to think The Boss says she's too busy.

Fuck her, no really, fuck her.

The Beauty of Human Kind

Oh what a busy week it was in the life of that unventilated, dusty hole we call a library...

It was the last week the Year 12s annoyed us with their presence. The rush of the last minute assignments, the nervous anticipation, the joy that there's over 100 less students to look at everyday.

Much to my chargrin our little helper is still irritating me with her existance. I don't care if she used to be a teacher, that she's very nice or that she's learning stuff. She takes up fucking space and hasn't done a damn thing to help yet. My Boss has often reminded me that a volunteer could do my job? Really? Because so far this one is fucking useless.

On Thursday I had to haul myself to the other side of town to update my first aid. It was a far better experience than the first time I did it but I still hated every second. I hate having to grope strangers into the recovery position or suck face with a dummy. While its interesting I just can't find the sympathy for say, a boy who was running about, went arse up over a chair he left out and cracked his skull on the floor. Sorry, but if one of the little fucks does that I'm going to ignore his pained groans and continue to shelve.

My moment of the week however, was not a negative one. It was at the final assembly for the Year 12s. This is where awards and prizes are given. The principal had decided to give two special awards this year and one was to my favourite African Boy. This boy I found out escaped the Sudan only 4 years ago and as of today doesn't know if his parents are still alive. He looks after his family, takes his elderly grandmother to the hospital twice a week. He was integral in the English as a Second Language programme in the school. He works with the new Sudanese families that come to the school and mentors the children. He speaks at fucntions, he's dealt with rascism issues in the school and he's just complete Year 12. The boy is also up for Young Australian of the Year. His peers gave him a standing ovation and he with cheeky charm bowed to the crowd. What an amazing, beautiful human being. He will go far.

Back to the Grind

Oh the underwhelming joy of returning to work after 2 weeks away from the cesspool of stress, sweat and painful stupidity.

Thankfully most of the stupid stayed home and the day was almost peaceful. Although, it could have just been that it was hot and because we don't have an airconditioner (yes no airconditioner in the Australian summer...great thinking fucktards!) that everyone was delirious from heatstroke.

I spent most of my day working through an exciting pile of Year 9 religion books and racing back and forth to the book hire room to hand out class sets of novels. This is always fun because the little shits never have their library cards or have stupid foreign names I can't spell. Today one teacher called to request a couple of books or his Year 8s in lesson 4. I organised the books, filled out the hire forms and printed class lists.

He didn't show.

The next lesson I had two classes booked in to get novels but low and behold, who turns up. "Oh I accidentally picked the wrong lesson..." Thanks so much Douche now I have to deal with three classes all wanting books at the same time and its my FUCKING LUNCH BREAK!

Actually Douche has also made a habit of talking on his mobile phone, all lesson, in the library. Seriously I want to take it and shove it up his Itallian arse and then have it ring until the battery goes flat and/or his rectum collapses. I mean not only is it annoying but its just damn rude.

On the upside I caught up with my favourite African Kid who told me how he spent the last 2 weeks back in Africa, in a tent. It was the worst holiday he's ever had. He hates tents. Methinks he should be grateful he gets to come back here and isn't stuck there like the rest of the suckers huh? Oh and he asked if during the summer holidays I was going to get a job at McDonalds...

The Hell and the Hierarchy

I feel far too tired to be writing a scathing attack on my day at work. Thankfully there's only half a day left until the holidays!

First lesson Drama Queen was in and did her usual, "look at me while I say something unfunny and sarcastic at this student" thing. I felt like a bartender as I sat at the desk processing books (yes the boss let me have work.) Drama Queen proceeded to tell me her ails while the boys called her name and one little turd in particular didn't shut up the entire lesson. She actually threatened to kill him and I like a good colleague I offered to help her. She did nothing to control the little fucks but protested loudly how miserable she was, how she wants out, its all too hard wahwahwah. She should try being a library assistant where you have to put up with incapable teaching staff like her.

I spent much time hearding my favourite phrase, "can I have this printed in colour". We have one coloured printer and only staff can access it. So if the boys want to print we have to do it for them. I get so fucking sick of it. Especially when half of doesn't need printed in colour at all and while they say, "you get better marks" I'm hoping that's not true. Its the content that matters not whether your title is pink and your border blue.

Drama Bitch turned up unannounced last lesson. Continues to try and befriend me. Desire to kill grows stronger every day.

There are quite a few staffing changes and the school hierarchy has changed to; Principal, Deputy Principal, Head of Senior School, Head of Middle School, Head of Primary. How many fucking people do we need? Interestingy 4 people went for the Head of Senior School position. Three were women, none of them got it. Having said that the male that got the job is lovely and so I don't mind.

Its rumoured my favourite English teacher is retiring. He's beautiful and passionate about the subject and wears a black skivvy and reminds me of a beat poet. His departure and the loss the the teaching of English makes me die a little on the inside.